The grand Atheist (SKIT)

The Atheist and his Grandson.

The grandson of an Atheist asked his Grandad, “How did everything come to be?”
Well, Daniel, first of all we are Atheists, there is no God or Devil or Heaven or Hell. Don’t believe any of that nonsense! Everything just came into being of itself, we call this process Evolution. Now in the beginning there was nothing, until something evolved out of nothing.

How could that be, Grandad?.
Well Science has proved that 2 positives can cancel one another out and result in nothing, so in reverse something can come out of nothing; You will learn this in our class of “Imaginitis”.

So what happened when nothing became something Grandad?
Well at first there was a great “Big Bang” and the little bit of something blew up and became billions of other little bits, that kept banging into one another ‘til they stuck together and formed billions of stars, and then the stars formed clusters and bigger clusters into what we call galaxies, until now there are 20 billion separate galaxies. This is called the “Big Bang” Theory. You will learn all about this in our class of “Theoritis”.

What is a Theory, Grandad?
It is the result of investigations by Science into the Laws of Nature.

What is Science, Grandad?
Science is the knowledge of the Laws of Mother Nature.

Is Mother Nature the Goddess whom you worship, Grandad?
Don’t be silly, Daniel, there are no gods or goddesses, it is only a figure of speech.

But if Mother Nature does not exist, how could she make Laws?
You’re too young to understand, Daniel, you will learn all about this in our class of “Equationitis”.

How do all the stars stay in place? Grandad.
Well they’re all kept in place by the Law of Gravity. You’ll learn this in the ”Hypothesisitis” class.

What is Gravity, Grandad?
Gravity is the power that keeps all the stars in their circuits. But where does the power come from ? Does it come from GOD? I’ve told you Daniel, there is no such thing as God, He simply does not exist.

Do you think GOD knows we don’t believe in Him? Grandad.
“Oh Hell”, exclaimed the Grandad in complete exasperation. Grandad is that where you’re going when you die? Because I would much rather go to Heaven!!!.

“Aaaghxmxckjo” Sorry, the Grandad’s response is not fit for your tender ears !!!

The End.

Alfred Curtis 1/4/2017